Khamis, Ogos 03, 2006

my boss says, he knows i keep my emotions bottled up inside. he said, i could burst any time.

Thing is, I only want to say things in the office, when I know exactly what to say.
I feel like 1 year plus is still not enough to pin point what's wrong with the system and why is it bugging me. Or why is it not.
1 year plus is not enough to know my subordinates to understand what they mean when they say stuffs.
And 1 year plus is not enough to change me to be like my subordinate who likes to blab it to the bosses about what she doesnt like about me, what I have done, and basically, shows in so many ways, that she hates me so much.

It is not a secret in the office that she hates me. And everyone knows why. Or at least, they like to figure out why.

I don't say I don't have a problem with that. I do. Sometimes rasa so panas hati.
But I just dont feel like doing what she is doing. I dont feel that going to the boss with my problems in handling her is going to help. If nothing else, it would probably make me feel childish. Manja. Gedik. And I would hate myself.

"Boss, boss...tengok lah dia tu!! Babab dia!"

That is so not me. But I guess my bosses has been hearing too much from her, they want to hear my side of the story. Tapi tak berani nak tanya direct, asikk hinttttttttt jek dah berapa lama dah. Nasib baik diorg tak bias terhadap saya. Fuhh.

Makanya I sit, and watch. And let her dance her own rhythm. Biarkan Si Luncai terjun dengan labu-labunya. Yang penting saya buat kerja, dgn ikhlas, dgn professional, buat yang terbaek...then dia nak kata apa pun, she cannot change the fact that I do my work and I do it right.

Your words are not enough to break me lady. Or even, your lack of it. So why don't you swallow your pride and accept the fact that you have to work with me? You dont have to LIKE working with me. That's like asking too much. You just have to work with me. Itu saja.

She's never gonna know what I write here anyway. Encik boss, I tak keep my feelings bottled up inside tau. I luahkan dalam blog tau. Ngeh...

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